catch me. if you can.

unfortunately, i have seemed to abandon this blog. mostly because i don't necessarily find my life interesting or fun in any way possible. but now, i have been placed in a time where emotions are high and my faith is put to the test.

there is currently a man in my life. a very honest, humble, and perfect boy. he never skips a beat and can literally read my mind. we spend every waking minute together. he waits patiently for me to get ready when we go out and he always kisses my nose and whispers sweet secrets to me that send goosebumps down my back. we are in love.
this perfect boy of mine has been called to serve the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints. he will be serving a mission in daejeon, korea. he reports to the mtc on december 12. he received his call on november 2. i nearly fainted.

love is the high emotion and this mission call has shown me the pure love of god. god loves his children so much that he is sending men and women of younger ages to serve under his name. the world is becoming dangerous and satan has become stronger. i love my almost missionary and i know he will change lives.

sweet seventeen.

my best friend, sydney, had her 17th birthday on the second. happy birthday lovely! for her birthday, a group of her friends and i went out to lunch. i lost my sushi virginity, but i didn't like it at all.

happy birthday, sissy. i love you lots and i hope your day was absolutely great.

gratitude.

gratitude is a funny thing, you know. it comes and hits you at the most unexpected times. like now, for example. there are currently three grown men with college degrees doing my math take home test for me. listening to them talk about logarithms, linear regression, and parabolas makes me realize how lucky i am.

i have an absolutely loving family who would do absolutely anything for me. like, take my math test.

i have the two best friends any girl could ask for. they have been there for me 100% without asking questions. i trust them with everything and i know they'll never leave my side.

i'm currently in the beautiful state of california. there is so much beauty and happiness here in this city. i can sleep at night with the door open-breathing in sea air and listening to the waves curl.

i have a loving boyfriend who is everything a boy should be. he treats me right and kisses my nose. he believes in good night and good morning texts. he tells me everyday that i'm beautiful and that i'm completely perfect for him. he's absolutely eveything i've ever wanted.

there is obviously so many more things i have to be greatful for. those are few of the many that are on my mind right now. i'm so happy and i have no reason to complain. i'm loving life and taking it a day at a time.

country at heart.

my dad's work is really big in prescott and my family had the opportunity to walk in their town parade and attend their rodeo. this rodeo is a big deal. its the oldest rodeo in the world and they are not shy about it. i'd never been to a rodeo before, so i really didn't know what to expect. let me tell you. it deserves to go on your "before i die" list. country music, cowboys, and three hours of entertainment. what could be better? absolutely nothing. i was so completely enthralled with the whole scene that i took like five pictures. those three hours were the happiest i've been in a long time. i would gladly go to one every weekend.

i may live in the city, but the country will be my home one day.

i'm a country girl at heart.

bachelorette. croatia.

just as most other bloggers, i'm a tad obsessed with the bachelorette. i was disappointed in ben's season and i called ashley's from the beginning. emily's season, however, continues to keep me guessing. i never know who's going home and i really don't want any of them to leave.

ryan. i absolutely hated him. he was so full of himself and the fact that he continually called emily his "trophy wife" rubbed me the wrong way. that is not the kind of thing you say to someone you're trying to be engaged to. too bad he's ridiculously good-looking. good job, emily. you have made the right decision.

arie. i bet you he wins. i want him to win. he and emily are so cute together and they just kiss all the time. they're made for each other. i hope the whole thing about him dating the producer doesn't make emily send him home. i don't think she would.

jef. top three. definitely. he's so charming and sweet and always says the right things. "she's the kind of girl people write novels about" oh dear me. you are perfect. i vote him for the next bachelor. and i want to be on that season. :)

sean. he really didn't interest me until this croatia adventure. he's super sweet and definitely a real winner. top three. for sure. i vote him for the next bachelor if jef doesn't do it.

this is definitely my favorite bachelor/bachelorette season.

word vomit.

my english teacher once had us write a whole essay consisting of word vomit. if you don't know the concept of word vomit, this is it-writing whats running through your mind. punctuation, spelling, and sentence fluency don't matter. just get everything out. so, ms prosser, i'm using your word vomit in real life. this is just going to be about how i feel. what i'm thinking. and what i want. with no correct grammar.

i legitimately just love you. your kindness and hint of sarcasm make me want to lean in to kiss you. never have i ever had such strong feelings for a boy before. i just want to be with you all the time. i want you to love me. i'd do anything to have you. i can love you better than anyone else ever could. you mean so much to me and i hope you are happy. i'll sit by the phone and wait for your call. even if it is just to say hi and catch up. it's been a while since we've talked.

do you think about me as much as i think about you? do i ever cross your mind? have you ever picked up the phone, only to put it back down again? what are you thinking? i don't know what to think or what to do. i've never played this game before and i don't know the rules. all i know is that i want you. i want to love you.

i wish you were thinking about me. sometimes i pick up my phone and put it back down. i hope i cross your mind. psych is waiting. i'm waiting. i just want you to love me.

i won't give up.

graduation. the real one.

i don't really think seminary graduation really counts. you can sleep through every class and still end up with an a. high school, however, is not quite that simple.

i am proud to say that i, jordan michelle gardanier, am an official hamilton high school graduate. i have the diploma to prove it. my name is right in the middle in that weird calligraphy that they find formal. unfortunately, like most girls, i was 100% focusing on not tripping in front of 1000+ people. therefore, i didn't quite enjoy the moment of actually walking. but thats okay because i have been told that i was graceful and i did not stumble in my wedges. thank goodness.

almost all of my favorite people were at my graduation. three of them were unable to attend. zach because he is on a mission in argentina. easton because he was at a job interview. and brooke because she was at her own graduation. sydney and my family were there and i'm so blessed they are in my life.

high school was not an easy ride for me. i'm quiet and i tend to make every effort to lay low and not be noticed. i took one of the hardest math classes at my school and there was a very real possibility that i would fail and not graduate with my class. thankfully everything got worked out and i was able to walk with my class. the class of 2012.

sydney marie. i love you to death. we've been through literally everything together. my leaving for college isn't going to change absolutely anything. there isn't another ctrsistafolife anywhere in the world, let alone idaho. we're best friends until the end. after all, who am i supposed to boss around at my wedding? and who'e going to make sure i don't wear sweats everyday and that i actually wear make-up? in the past few months, you and brooke have made such an impact on my life. leaving you two is going to be one of the hardest things i'll ever do, bu everyone needs a new beginning. maybe one day you'll join me in idaho? i pray every night that you do. i want you to be there for me through everything. i'm always a phone call away. its going to get easier. i'm always here for you. i love you, sis.

locks. i'm going to miss you, even though i say i won't. we are polar opposites but i wouldn't have it any other way. you have grown into a gorgeous little sister. i love you dearly and i can't wait to steal some of your clothes for idaho! :) i can talk to you about anything and i know you'll always have my back, just as i have yours.

brookie cookie. you are one of the people that i hold near to my heart. i'd do anything for you and i know you'd return the favor. i'm so lucky to have met you here in chandler. you and i have become so close and i seriously love you. even though you'll only be three hours away, i'm going to miss you like crazy. syd and i will come visit you before i leave in idaho. you inspire me everyday. i'm glad i have someone to vent to because you understand my problems. you can instantly tell when i'm upset or hurt and i can always come to you about absolutely anything. we're going to open up our very own bakery and the frosting is going to be bomb. i love you. you've become my sister. we graduated. we did it. class of 2012.

e. you moving into my ward has been such a blessing. you were placed in my life right when i needed someone like you the most. we've become so close. we are definitely related. i'm going to miss you so so much because when i leave in january, that means you're going to get your mission call in the next couple of months. you'll be sent away for two years on a mission. my heart is already breaking. but we'll stay close. i wouldn't be able to go through my little pointless problems without you. i love you, bub. you're the best cousin ever.

(brooke, sydney, and i rushed over to brooke's graduation after my ceremony ended. we're such good friends.)

the people i live for.

bjs for life. always.